Can you feel it?







I attended the Melbourne Writer's Festival/Sleeper's Salon fundraising screening of 2046 last night at the Kino so here is list of the likes and dislikes.

Set in the 1960's in Hong Kong, Thailand and Singapore, 2046 is the exploration of the character Mr Chow, after the failed romance of the preceding Kar Wai film In The Mood For Love.

He lives in the sordid underworld glamour of room 2047 at the Orient Hotel and embarks on a series of relationships with the mysterious women who reside in room 2046. Alongside this rests another 2046, the train taking people to and from their memories in the futuristic novel that Chow is writing.
Through the time shifting exploration of Chow's relationships with these women and the development of his novel as result of these, a study in how the future is sometimes really the past is defined.

So, the highlights first.

Zhang Ziyi who plays Bai Ling, the obnoxious yet appealing call girl living in 2046, is a revelation in this part. Apart the obvious physical beauty she posesses, her role as a woman passionately in love with Chow burns and she is the star of the piece.

The set design and costume is unbelievable as is the textural effects of the camera work especially the flawless perfection of the androids. It is easy to fall in love with the mise en scene of this film.

The exploration of the cultural underground in 1960's Hong Kong was a fascination, particularly armed with knowledge of the economic and social state of the region at the time (Cambodia, Vietnam etc)

The sex scenes were believable and very erotic.

Some lowlights

Too long, but that is just my inbuilt programmer's eye there - I have grown used to watching a lot of films in fast forward and perhaps this is to my detriment.

I'm not sure why but I felt slightly uncomfortable with some of storylines. I think this might relate to something that Spirit Fingers has said on her blog.
Because at times this film felt like the first paragraph of this post.
Too much emphasis was placed on the material areas of Chow's relationships. I can't really explain this yet I need to mull it over I think. Perhaps it was because for such a romantic film the presents he showered and protection he gave did not ring of truth?

so overall

Date movie rating - 7/10
coming down after a night on the tiles - 4/10
The Male Factor rating (what the male movie watcher thinks) - " Well after 2 and a half hours we find out that this bloke is a bit of a sad sack who needs to get over himself don't we?"
Sex Factor - 8/10 I got the horn, sure.

Look out for - the ladies rings and their placements, The LG logos in the future scenes and cat's eye makeup.


A Musical Baton

Music sweet music was passed to me from Otherwise

Total volume of music files on my computer:
none, I listen to CD's from work, CD's I buy or are bought for me, CD's people make for me, or a plethora of internet radio stations. Does that make me a luddite?

Song playing right now:
Stereo - Pavement
care of Divide by Zero Radio on Live 365

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:

Rock and Roll Suicide - David Bowie (Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars)
Babe you Turn Me On - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (Lyre of Orpheus)
Do You Realise? - The Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots)
Damaged Goods - Gang Of Four (some mixed tape someone made me)
Vamos - The Pixies (Surfer Rosa and Come On Pilgrim)

SIX people to whom I’m passing the baton:

Cracker, AC,
Yammer Rancour,Skander, M!key and Sterne



Your Birthdate: July 19

Your birth on the 19th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life path.

But at the same time, it poses a number of obstacles to overcome before you are able to be as independent as you would like. The number 1 energy suggests more executive ability and leadership qualities than your path may have indicated.

A birthday on the 19th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. However, a somewhat self-centered approach to life that may be in conflict with some of the other influences in your life.

This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush.

You are sensitive, but your feeling stay somewhat repressed.

You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

You do not tend to follow convention or take advice very well.

Consequently, you tend to learn through experience; sometimes hard experiences.

The 19/1 is a loner number and you may experience feelings of being alone even if you are married.

You may take on a tendency to be nervous and angry.

Room service


AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH what a relaxing few days I have experienced. A blow by blow account below.

Check in.
NLI arrives
Robes on, champagne popped, spa bath ran, pills necked.

Much fun ensues as you imagine.

Guest arrive - more drinks and babbling excitement about concert

Arrive at Melbourne Town Hall just as the lights go down and the opening strains of Abbatoir Blues got me in the guts.

Took some acid

So many highlights from this show and also some sad things.
Best moments - Stagger Lee, Come Into My Sleep, Get Ready For Love. 2 drummers, 4 amazing back up singers, Nick's dapper suit, our awesome seats, the kisses.

Sad moments
Why Nick, did you only introduce Mick Harvey and Conway Savage?, the back up singers didn't get much of a run, I wish you had played Babe, I got You Bad.

After the concert NLI and I went back to our room and indulged in the inevitable expression of our happiness until the wee hours.


Rose late and ordered in brekky while NLI and I snuggled in bed.
After breakfast we dressed to have a look at THE DRESS which NLI fully approved of.
Late afternoon wine was consumed a little laneway bar before seeing Downfall at the Kino - an alltogether excellent film with a brilliant performance by Bruno Ganz.

Early evening was spent luxuriating in the spa before a game of scrabble, some drinks and an early night (mmmmmm!)

After leaving the hotel NLI and went home and sat outside in the sun playing the yes or no game for a few hours and bagging each other favourite films.

On Saturday night I went to see the Panics with the lovely M!key.
An awesome gig, great sound and fabulous feelings. Then on to Control for a buck's night and to catch up with l'amour. More drug fuelled debauchery and dancefloor action, shit speaking and drink necking. A fabulous time was had.

As a consequence I lost most of yesterday to a much needed rest and feel completely relaxed today and more deeply in love with NLI than ever - the man is a wonder.

To bastardise Alexander Dumas - "Happiness has placed a blindfold over my eyes and all I can see is him".

Damn. I wish I could do it all again this week.



In reverent admiration for one of my heroes Nick Cave this post is dedicated to what I believe to be some of his better lyrical moments.

Roll on tommorrow night!

The seasons have gone wrong,
And I lay me down in a bed of snow
Darling, since you've been gone,
Well, my hands they don't know where to go
And all my teeth are bared,
I got you so much I'm scared,
Oh baby, I got you bad.

(Babe I've got you bad - B sides and Rarities 2005)

O tell me why? Why? Why?
Why the ceiling still shakes?
Why the fixtures turn to serpants snakes?

(From Her To Eternity - From Her to Eternity - 1984)

Father, why are all the children weeping?
They are merely crying son
O, are they merely crying, father?
Yes, true weeping is yet to come

O father tell me, are you weeping?
Your face seems wet to touch
O then I'm so sorry, father
I never thought I hurt you so much

(The Weeping Song - The Good Son 1990)

I'm sorry about all your friends
I hope they'll speak to me again
I said before I'd pay for all the damages
I'm sorry it's just rotten luck
I'm sorry I've forgotten how to fuck
It's just that I think my heart
and soul are kind of famished

(Thirsty Dog - Let Love In 1994)

They gonna inform the police chief (Lay me low)
Who'll breathe a sigh of relief
He'll say I was a malanderer, a badlander, and a thief
When I go

They will interview my teachers (Lay me low)
Who'll say I was one of God's sorrier creatures
There'll print informative six-page features
When I go

They'll bang a big old gong (Lay me low)
The motorcade will be ten miles long
The world will join together for a farewell song
When they put me down below

They'll sound a fluegelhorn (Lay me low)
And the sea will rage, and the sky will storm
All man and beast will mourn
When I go

(Lay Me Low, - Let Love In 1994)

She said, "You ain't look like you scored in quite a time.
Why not come to my pad? It won't cost you a dime"
Mr. Stagger Lee

"But there's something I have to say before you begin
You'll have to be gone before my man Billy Dilly comes in,
Mr. Stagger Lee"

"I'll stay here till Billy comes in, till time comes to pass
And furthermore I'll fuck Billy in his motherfucking ass"
Said Stagger Lee

"I'm a bad motherfucker, don't you know
And I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole"
Said Stagger Lee

Just then Billy Dilly rolls in and he says, "You must be
That bad motherfucker called Stagger Lee"
Stagger Lee

"Yeah, I'm Stagger Lee and you better get down on your knees
And suck my dick, because If you don't you're gonna be dead"
Said Stagger Lee

Billy dropped down and slobbered on his head
And Stag filled him full of lead
Oh yeah.

(Stagger Lee - Murder Ballads 1996)

Come over here, babe
It ain't that bad
I don't claim to understand
The troubles that you've had
But the dogs you say they fed you to
Lay their muzzles in your lap
And the lions that they led you to
Lie down and take a nap
The ones you fear are wind and air
And I love you without measure
It seems we can be happy now
Be it better late than never

(Sweetheart Come - No More Shall We Part, 2001)

and the best ever

Stay by me, stay by me
You are the one, my only true love

The butcher bird makes it's noise
And asks you to agree
With it's brutal nesting habits
And it's pointless savagery
Now, the nightingale sings to you
And raises up the ante
I put one hand on your round ripe heart
And the other down your panties

Everything is falling, dear
Everything is wrong
It's just history repeating itself
And babe, you turn me on

Like a light bulb
Like a song

You race naked through the wilderness
You torment the birds and the bees
You leapt into the abyss, but find
It only goes up to your knees
I move stealthily from tree to tree
I shadow you for hours
I make like I'm a little deer
Grazing on the flowers

Everything is collapsing, dear
All moral sense has gone
It's just history repeating itself
And babe, you turn me on

Like an idea
Like an Atom bomb

We stand awed inside a clearing
We do not make a sound
The crimson snow falls all about
Carpeting the ground

Everything is falling, dear
All rhyme and reason gone
It's just history repeating itself
And, babe, you turn me on

Like an idea
Like an Atom bomb

(Babe, you turn me on - Lyre of Orpheus/Abattoir Blues 2004)

G is for Gym

Right, just for posterity, last night was my first gym session and I thik I scared the poor instructor.

Not because I turned up wearing this


but because I was so bloody uncoordinated and all excited about my two day debauch that I could barely concentrate. Also, dude, get a sense of humour - you need one if you are going to tell fat old broads like me they are doing well straight face.

Don't believe me? - well I fell off the swiss ball a few times trying to attempt the superman move and didn't experience one iota of embarrassment.

And when I the rowing machine I was saying "NLI oh NLI!" on each thrust and I think that might have freaked him a little. Isn't he supposed to be impressed when you clear motivation?
Anyway the flattie and I had much fun and in six weeks, mark my words I'm going to look like this.






I have tickets - hooray!

what week that is going to be - QOTSA, Interpol and Go Team. Birthday treats galore!



Monsoon Wedding

Not much to say about the weekend except...
I got drunker than I have in a loooong time and managed to

1. Ask NLI for sex in a very public place.
2. After asking NLI for sex I just happened to walk straight into a tree.

hmmm.. so Saturday was spent curiously hangover free and my car didn't get a ticket from the spot I had left it in the night before yeee har!

Went shopping for dress for NLI brother's wedding. Curse SABA for making beautiful, expensive clothes that make me look the hotness - I'm afraid it will be a month of two minute noodles for me after spying THE DRESS.

Like this one but with pattern in black and white on it.

Which I have not bought... yet. Also purchased lots of yummy bath things for dirty filthy me and my dirty weekend coming up.

And joined the gym - I will be a gymnast goddess - well actually I need to get some strength so I can go through with my fencing lesson plans for later in the year. I'm very excited about the gym, since I'm about turn 28 and want to do so in a position of extreme hotness.

Dinner at I Carusi
with friends - I prefer Meine Liebe in Northcote personally.

Sunday, more freaking shopping - I'm not a very good shopper. I get tired and cranky, disdainful of what is on offer, eyes glazed over by the sight of more of the same. Then scrabble - best words carrions and gravid, a chat to the NLI and then some wine drinking and love letter writing.

And Monsoon Wedding. When I worked at the Classic Cinema, we showed this film for a record 20 weeks. I've seen it about 10 times and never ever fail to cry over the love affair between the two characters below : Alice and PK Dubey


Alice is the maid in the wedding house and P.K Dubey is the wedding organiser. P.K longs for Alice after meeting her in the kitchen and then watching her secretly while she fantasised about a greater place in life. A misunderstanding leads to coolness between the pair until PK declares his intentions in a most beautiful way.

Like this, with heart made of marigolds.


Far out I'm tearing up even thinking about it.

So Alice and PK Dubey get married in a simple ceremony on a bridge in the pouring rain


Such a lovely part of the story.

Not enough? - here have some Wiggum Witticisms


Gimme a Break

In reference to some comments left on this post

I have a few things to say.

To the lovely person who left comment under the title gimme a break.

Thanks you for comment, they are always appreciated since the blog is such an interesting animal. I like to think of mine as a modest thing, with no great claim to excellence, where I can write about stuff that is happening in my life, what I think about things and occasionally comment on pop culture.

I never thought I was particularly witty, incisive or brilliant, nevertheless it is something I enjoy and I find I enjoy sharing my life with like minded souls who may stumble across it. Occasionally I will open up the post to others for feedback regarding plans that I might be making so I can gather their opinions and ideas.

So my whinge with you gimme a break is this:

To leave a comment like that is to forget two things
1. you do not know me.
2. you have not afforded me a fair and just right of reply.

I will not apologise to you for the way I have chosen to live my life. Everything I have now, which isn't much, has come from hard work and some huge bloody sacrifices. If I choose to enjoy sensual and pleasurable items so fucking what? I damn well deserve happiness.

By commenting anonymously you have uncovered a profound weakness in your character. Are you afraid to show who you are? Why comment in such as way unless you are prepared for some reply from myself. It screams GUTLESS WANKER.

So I'll just go back to drinking my goddamn Grange and reading Proust shall I?



Everything begins with an R

Some things that I need to get out there.

1. I love Melbourne, I really do.
2. I'm blessed by good fortune most of the time.
3. My oral sex abilities really are rather good.
4. I have a fucking great boyfriend.
5. We had a lovely dinner last night.
6. I recently found out that the call sign for ABC Radio in our nation's political capital is 666. I think this is very funny.
7. I found this website and it made me laugh, thanks Village Voice
8. a theory I have been harbouring for awhile may be correct see this post for my thoughts Theory No.1
9. I miss my friend Lauren and can't wait to see her.
10. Communication is the key to a bright and better future as is chipboard on the fireplaces.
11. Next week I will be indulging in the most debaucherous three days of my life and I cannot wait.
12. I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to get addicted to Big Brother this year.
13. I'm so far behind in scrabble I may never ever catch up.
14. I'm going to be an aunty soon. Oh dear.
15. My life is about to change dramatically, I just have this gut feeling.
16. Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars is a great album.
17. So many good gigs are coming up, my tshirt collection is going to skyrocket.
18. I'm having nightmares with wolf spiders in them. They attack my face and no one will help me get to the hospital.
19. NLI has the most glove like body and I miss it when I can't hold him.
20. Learning to knit is no fun when no one is there to talk to.


Looking forward to..

Seeing The Cants at the Corner

Nick Cave at Melbourne Town Hall

The Panics at the Northcote Social Club

seeing 2046 at The Kino

Opening of the St Kilda Film Festival


A WORD ON BIG BROTHER.... Subversity? Subversity? I've checked three dictionaries and I don't think it is word Nelson sweetheart. And you are one of the smarter ones.


Advice Required

I'm going to buy NLI a copy of "The Pleasure of Hating" by William Haszlitt due to a conversation we had yesterday and I want to express some feelings to him.

Which of the three quotes should I write on the inside cover?

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."
Andre Gide

I like them all but can't choose.

Oh my god I have a career?

I'm as busy as boozies in a burlesque bar today.

So to keep you amused here is two links I found funny this week.
  • a site only a mother could love

  • Release the inner geek
  • 5.03.2005

    Why you shouldn't look at your photos albums

    The flattie and I were at home last night and discussing which of my parents I look more like - the tall pater bear that is my father or the rounder, crazier woman that is my mother.

    It was a close contest, apparently I look like both. What's the freaking chances of that eh?

    Anyway to determine this we were looking though my photo albums and I came across my year 7 graduation photo's which feature me with a very attractive blue ruffled number a bit like this.....


    Sporting a hair do a bit like this......


    Part of the ceremonies is that one lucky person would receive a citizenship award for all round excellence. I was a straight A student who never had any trouble, especially with the boys by the looks of this outfit, and I was positive that I was going to win this award.

    I had given my belongings to the friend sitting next to me so I was free to grace the stage unfettered, clutch my medal of glory, and roll on to many achievements and certificates for all round goodness at everything once I hit highschool. Heart pounding, head racing,I was praticising my pose for the camera in my head and my small but "cute" speech that would endear me to peers and parents alike.

    Imagine my shock when MELISSA DOYLE was handed the award for best at everything.

    It still cuts like a knife people.


    Catriona Rowntree: Champion of the Underweight

    The Logies is always a wickedly cringeworthy TV event and I always enjoy the arrivals. I don't really bother with the awards but while channel surfing I managed to catch the Neighbours dance number - Hilarious especially the actress who plays Serena.

    I think that she may have spent one or two mornings coming down of her coke high watching the booty shaking show that is Video Hits by the way that she was dancing.

    However, the scariness of the Logies show can be summed up by this repartee between the Arrivals Show host Catriona Rowntree and Renovation Rescue's Rebecca Harris

    Catriona " I must say Rebecca, I don't know how you do it, you must have given birth to your two children through your head - look at you, you are a toothpick!

    Rebecca " Thanks Catriona!, (demurs,blushes etc etc)"

    Catriona, any more comments like that praising a woman for her toothpickness and you should be hung out to dry. How very inappropriate, the woman is clearly underweight, no doubt by choice and you praise her like it is a amazing achievement.

    Good Grief

    Emotional experience

    Well another fantastic weekend is over.
    Saw The Drones on Saturday night at The Corner. Lots and lots of fun, got drunk and then went to Control for a few hours of dancefloor mayhem.
    Managed of course to lose my phone though.... dammit.! But never fear when the NLI is around. NLI managed to call my number and speak to the person who picked it up and arranged for them to get it back to me. What a TOTRB.
    And he bought a new suit this weekend which somehow makes him a hundred times sexy then he already is.

    I'm going to get all serious for a minute.. I have never been happier than I am right now. Bursting from the seams, annoyingly smiley goofy happiness.
    Which means, of course, now I am getting scared - what if he breaks my heart? I have plenty of things in my life to make me happy but I crave him so much sometimes.

    I'm not obsessive, maybe a little lust drunk and certainly head over heels. I think that my potential to immerse myself fully in the emotional experience can work against me at times and NLI has the same tendencies I think, as this was discussed on Saturday afternoon after some particularly satisfying sex.
    This might all be because this whole relationship has come and smacked me right in the face and I wasn't really prepared for the intensity of my feelings.
    Which of course has led to a complete reappraisal of the way I live my ife and the guilt that I feel for some of my past actions.
    It sounds like a cliche but I just want to be a better person and be aware of the feelings of others, be sensitive to the needs of others, look after my family, friends, co workers, lover, do my job well, gain the respect and admiration of my peers and live a long and happy life.

    ahhh... I can feel that Saturn return just around the corner.
    Babble rocks! If you like your poetry cracking hots then go. Like the man says - Poetry aint for squares anymore.