Emotional experience

Well another fantastic weekend is over.
Saw The Drones on Saturday night at The Corner. Lots and lots of fun, got drunk and then went to Control for a few hours of dancefloor mayhem.
Managed of course to lose my phone though.... dammit.! But never fear when the NLI is around. NLI managed to call my number and speak to the person who picked it up and arranged for them to get it back to me. What a TOTRB.
And he bought a new suit this weekend which somehow makes him a hundred times sexy then he already is.

I'm going to get all serious for a minute.. I have never been happier than I am right now. Bursting from the seams, annoyingly smiley goofy happiness.
Which means, of course, now I am getting scared - what if he breaks my heart? I have plenty of things in my life to make me happy but I crave him so much sometimes.

I'm not obsessive, maybe a little lust drunk and certainly head over heels. I think that my potential to immerse myself fully in the emotional experience can work against me at times and NLI has the same tendencies I think, as this was discussed on Saturday afternoon after some particularly satisfying sex.
This might all be because this whole relationship has come and smacked me right in the face and I wasn't really prepared for the intensity of my feelings.
Which of course has led to a complete reappraisal of the way I live my ife and the guilt that I feel for some of my past actions.
It sounds like a cliche but I just want to be a better person and be aware of the feelings of others, be sensitive to the needs of others, look after my family, friends, co workers, lover, do my job well, gain the respect and admiration of my peers and live a long and happy life.

ahhh... I can feel that Saturn return just around the corner.