Part one, two and three

I will need a lot of time to write up the goings on at me partay on the weekend so a few dribs and crabs to ame room for work I guess.


I tried to vote for this wonderful man on BE this morning and I cocked it up somehow.

So for the record..


Carlton in the semis!!!!! Carlton in the semis!!!! I was so sure they were going to lose it the fourth as they are wont to do. Look's like it might be a good year for footy.

Has anyone noticed the glaring error in the Tasmanian Ship - thing ad.
It says cheap fares are plane expensive and rants on about how if you include - airport parking and car hire the cost goes up to $633.00.
Airport parking AND car hire.
Idiots - these people earn more than me for such drivel. If anyone know this ad agency I would like to know so I can put a bid for their next ad which will be me standing in front of the plane with a gun to it nose and threatening death if I do not receive $100,000 in umarked bills immediately and that if you don't want this to happen to you plane - catch a ferry. Much more effective I believe.

there.. absolution complete. Have a nice day y'all


funny memory - must write

I just had convo with one of the girls in the office about the best time of day to eat fruit -I'm well regarded around the office for my nutritional facts and figures, old wive's tales and voodoo cures.

I remembered when I was working at film fest a few years ago I met a FRUITARIAN, somebody who only eats raw fruit and veges. I ws fascinated, we spoke at length about this and the fella lent me a book about the movement. Fruitarianism is one step away from those breatharians I felt after reading this crazed book.

But, each to their own I thought, no worries.

Anyway I only had a choice between sushi and Hungry Jacks at this particular location of work and heartily sick of handrolls I decided to treat myself to a burger at Hj's.

Who do I see outside HJ's wolfing down a burger with fries than my very own Fruitarian mate..
Nobody likes a bullshitter.


Choose a musical artist/band and answer only in their song titles: Smiths

Describe yourself: Vicar in a Tutu

How do some people feel about you? This Charming Man/Bigmouth Strikes Again

How do you feel about yourself? Oscillate Wildly

Describe your ex-partner: What Difference Does It Make?

Describe your current partner: I Started Something I Couldn't Finish

Describe what you want to be: Handsome Devil

Describe your current mood: A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours

Describe your friends: You've Got Everything Now

Share a few words of wisdom: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

stolen from
  • Yammer Rancour
  • Party


    So i'm having a party this weekend and just like that stupid ad for the Grand Prix that is showing on the peeve, there will be fireworks, clowns, etc etc. I'm hoping that some grid girls might show up and give the crowd a treat.
    Seriously should be a heap 'o' fun in a no sleep til Tuesday sort of way.


    The worst morning of my fucking life

    1. My car is serious trouble and needs the carbuerrettor fixed so the first thing I found out this morning is I'm up for $500 bucks.
    2. I spill my lunch in the car
    3. I get every single fucking red light.
    4. I forgot to book some phoners for one of our clients - shit..
    5. I couldn't get me computer to turn on for half an hour this morning.

    If this is the last post I ever write it will be because I've hung myself in the tea room or today is the day that I get caught and I'm thrown out on my sweet ass.


    Sufficiently large yes

    Yep the weekend was huge, got the photo's to prove it. CE left town with karaoke send off as the shanghai club. Grape grazing sunday on the yarra valley - I will never go on that again. Not quite what I was expecting - I didn't really expect to be plonked in field with thousand of pissed accountants and the like. And I only saw one cute boy worth chatting up.

    The best post post ironic gold crested cockatoo cross I have seen in quite some time

    Human Jenga... can remember much after this....

    seriously they wanted me to WEAR this

    Before grape grazing

    ze girls

    I love the way this man holds a microphone tres sexy


    what a babe this girl is

    CE singing up a storm

    Dr Gonzo

    Farewell Gonzo

    Since yesterday was spent asleep battling a lovely brand of migraine I did not hear the news until B sent me a message

    Bye Gonzo, you made my teenage years a little more bearable. I used to smoke pot and read "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" over and over again. I read any article of your published in Rolling Stone and you will be dearly missed in my pantheonon of famous people I like who are alive.



    Last night the hunting season began

    and it was payday

    So after wolfing down some dinner I went down there, charged up to the max with visions of the perfect bra in my size waiting for me in a golden light.
    These sales are mental, women pacing the aisles frantically pulling through racks muttering under their breath the mantra " 14C, 14C, I must find a 14C" Eyeing off the chick who got to the Love Kylie stuff first.

    My highly developed hunting syle lies dormant most of the year because frankly shopping makes me feel slightly inadequate and if it ain't Chanel darling I would rather dress in rags. But the bra sales get me everytime.

    And to my credit I got three very nice undergarments that enhance my natural assets a treat thankyou.


    a list

    inspired by A sexy lady in glasses here is some things that are currently good.

    The fan at the end of my bed, Nick Cave, almonds, greenseas tinned tuna, mega bottles of italian wine, champion ruby blue, DIG radio, green tea, my magic pants that make me look slimmer, libraries, footballer's wives season three, the dears, the crackers, peep toe high heels, thinking about my next tattoo, suicide girls, fridays, saturdays and sundays, rain, brad and jen, growing my nails, chinese new year, thinking about my US trip, job offers that I don't want, yay!


    when is the bell going to ring

    Craven A says - have a toss around the web instead of a cigarette. So I have collected images that appear when "Ladycracker" is typed into google images. Because my ego knows no bounds

    You got that right

    Great that's settled then. Moments of identity crisis can solved by a quick image search. Look out for my book soon on a Borders sale table for $4.95. "Solving your existential dilemma with Google Image Search" or "How Hot or Not is Pushing Darwinism into the 21st Century".

    now I feel better

    AAAHHH. one of the girls at work sent a tart test around and I only got 65%!!!!
    This makes me indescribably happy and is better than confession for soothing my troubled mind.

    I shall print it and wear it on my chest on my next date (????? yeah right) or maybe make it part of my resume?
    I will have to pick on car sex,text sex, phone sex and sex in general if I want to lift my score


    very strange events

    So last night was very uneventful until 10:45pm

    My phone rang "Hello"
    Hello, this is a secret admirer wishing you a happy valentine's day"
    "Oh thanks, who is this"
    "you might not remember me but I met you outside Pony in June last year and you reduced me to tears within minutes of meeting me"
    "Did I?"
    (At this stage I can remember meeting this guy clear as a bell. I also remember that I said my phone number to him after a very intense conversation that went for about a hour - this was during some very dark days of depresssion that thankfully I will never go through again)

    "Yes you did and I wanted to call you say thank you for opening up a part of me that allowed me to go and meet the love of my life. Unfortunately she died in a motorbike accidet late last year".

    "Ok well thanks you for you kind words"

    Conversation goes on for a bit longer as he tells me how much he misses this poor girl. And I'm thinking to myself I didn't write down my number how did he remember it for so long? and my name?

    It was a very strange thing to think that I had affected so much change on one person - it further reminds me that as humans we must be careful with others.

    I do have a sum of physic abilty and sometimes see into people's souls and pain when I don't want to. Hearing from this guy after almost a year has given me a bit of the fear.
    It was probably because when I met him I was feeling pretty tortured myself and I want to forget about that. I was in a relationship with someone who I knew wasn't what I really wanted from a life partner but unable to extricate myself for fear of becoming blurry.
    I can give thanks that I'm not in that relationship anymore and that life is coming along pretty nicely for me and my self worth is not dictated by who my friends are or who I happen to be bonking. That is very peaceful.

    Yesterday I spoke to a lot of sad people who want love, love someone who doesn't love them back or have been so hurt by their lives that they have curled up into little balls and refused to come out.

    I feel for everyone of them.


    Why I love my job part one

    It is part of my job to make friends with people from all sorts of publications.

  • This Magazine
  • has a really lovely fella working for it in the reader's section. we chat quite regularly. Today I received my latest cache of easily available porn and lo and behold I am a TOPS CHICK as stated amongst the pages of this fine magazine. Perhaps they can convince me to take my top off next?

    The perfect Valentines day. Just add hearts and flowers

    Valentines day

    Today's Valentine's message care of
  • Stormweaver

  • Dear Friends
    This goes out to those fellow comrades wounded in love.
    Pat Benatar said it best " Love is abattlefield... a whoa a whaoa wooo... We are strong... " etc etc.

    Have a good one

    sexy party et al

    The weekend started off pretty slow for me with Firday night conssiting of Le Roi Danse on SBS and reading a book.

    On Saturday night went to "Sexy Party" with Ong and Barclay and some other randoms. The place was packed to the rafters with cleavage and handlebars moustaches. Going Off. Wicked. So it was all going really well until my body clock ticked over into PMS at precisely 1.00am and I had some strange and confusing argument with Barclay.

    I don't even know what I was angry with him about but it was something and I let him know with glare and he said what are you pissed off about I said I don't know, go away. So he did. Then I was chatting to 2 who had turned up earlier for awhile and eventually fell in again with the rhythm of the party.

    Anyway ran into B again later on and said I was sorry and that we needed to sort it out because recently I had been getting some mixed messages. Although as it turns out one of those messages was not meant for me but was forwarded to me after being sent to someone else. That really pissed me off as he has said in the past that he doesn't like to be include on a group email. All people should be sensitive to what they say in text and email as the message is not always clear.
    Any way we will see what happens I'm sure that it will all be cool in time. Goddamn hormones seriously getting to me this month.

    random sexiness - ABE Lincoln - sexy?

    my singles ad at the Sexy Party on Saturday night.


    seen outside a apartment block in the city last night - I'm going to use it as my personal quit smoking token.

    French Day - Midsumma Festival

    Went and saw French Day at the Kitten Club last night with D, A and E. It was the first time that the play was performed to an audience and I can forgive some of the first night nerves.

    The play had some problems with pacing though and could have done with some more fluid dialogue delivery and a script edit. Large gaps loomed between lines of dialogue in what should be key conversations and they could have done with a mike. (is there a shortage in Oz at the moment?)
    Perhaps I'm being a little picky but Aussies don't "press" their clothes. They "iron" them. And the play is about 17 year olds. Some of the dialogue was a little too sophisticated for the age group.
    Standout performances by Daniel Goodfellow as Mr Parker, and Bronwyn Murphy as Ms Potter. Excellent delivery and recovery from slight mishaps. Notable mentions to Steven Cabral and Steven Bennet in the leads as it would have been a tough job and they were very pretty.

    Barclay came over with a bottle after that to play Scrabble and shoot the shit. Fave word of the game "Cruet" on a triple word score - not many points but a huge amount of satisfaction.


    I don't want to be here today

    I want to listen to some beautiful music
    See some art that makes me cry
    solve a mystery
    eat oysters
    wear red lipstick and big black sunglasses
    try on the most expensive dress on Collins street
    buy a dog from the pound
    fall in love
    take photos
    sit on the balcony and watch the world go by

    give me some chocolate

    I want some as this diet thing is starting to get on my nerves. Still sacrifices must be made if we want to fit into tight black Lee's right?

    Went out to dinner last night with RDP and PT to Quan 88 - yummy.

    While I was waiting for them this scuffle broke on the street and ended with this woman brandishing a glass water carafe about to clock this fella in the middle of victoria street. hilarious.

    Went to The Vic for a quiet bevvy after dinner and generally enjoyed a pleasant evening of conversation.


    Gong Xi Fa Cai (may you have wealth and prosper)!

    The Year of the Rooster has finally begun and I feel better already. Today I am more clear and focussed, with greater intent and opportunities practically bursting from every conversation.

    I have been handing out the traditional red envelopes with money to my friends as I don't know any children except for Mo and Mia (Luke and Riny's baby), they are Christian so it might not be appropriate?

    So to all, Gong Xi Fa Cai, wishing you all the best for this most auspicious of years.


    Ute Lemper singing Kurt Weill on ABC CLassic FM today. How could you not be happy.

    Year of the Rooster - What's in store for the Snake

    Snake's Overview
    The Snake will practically meet with no trouble this year. They'll charm numerous types, and can experience many love adventures. Moreover, their levelheadedness and wisdom will bring them the admiration and esteem of all. However, they should beware of any tendency toward indecisiveness. They will like to run several risks, but things will not always end up turning out all right as if by magic if they continue to do so. If they rely too much on their luck and continue to flit about ceaselessly, they could run the risk of finding themselves in complicated or ambiguous situations that might prove embarrassing or disturb their interior peace.

    What Your Element Has To Add
    Fire Snake
    A brilliant year is in sight! Finally liberated from many negative influences, you'll recover all your dynamism. Until May, however, avoid rash initiatives, especially in the professional domain. In your love life, it's also during this year that you'll find stability.
    First quarter

    You'll have the right to a real sentimental show of fireworks. If you are a single heart, you can have enthralling encounters. An amorous friendship may give you real joy of living. Married couples will go on a new honeymoon. However, during March, old grievances against your mate may make a comeback. Take the bull by the horns: be honest and settle this situation once for all by recognizing your part in all this. Have a calm and frank dialog.

    Second quarter

    New sentimental adventures in view! Driven by a wave of euphoria, you'll not know where to stop and will be ready to kiss many toads to find your prince/princess. Try to temper your enthusiasm and be more judicious. Not everyone can be your perfect mate, so take longer looks and evaluate people more carefully.

    Third quarter

    Good prospects for this entire period. The stars will enhance your seduction power as well as your prestige. You'll know how to profit cleverly from such positive influences. In order to live your love life well, you'll need to remain low-key! If possible, take your vacation in a faraway place, and take all necessary precautions to shield yourself from prying eyes.

    Fourth quarter

    If you want to be happy in love during this period, don't let other people interfere with your personal matters. Only listen to your heart and to the beloved one. Beware particularly of certain members of your own family who will take pleasure in offering unnecessary advice. If you're single, you could have too many options. Under such circumstances, you'd better avoid a definite promise or marriage if you're not sure. Besides, in all likelihood you are not ready for a deep sentimental commitment.

    the Year of the Rooster Overview

    On February 9th, we're ringing in 4702, the Year of the Rooster -- and we're all in for a year of honesty and practicality (and for those more stylishly-inclined, this could be a great year for fashion).

    Roosters are the perfectionists of the Chinese zodiac, especially when it comes to their looks. But don't let that appearance of vanity fool you. Hidden beneath their well-groomed facade, you'll find one of the most honest and observant souls on earth. A Rooster believes in being straightforward and expects the same from the rest of us. They also notice everything that's going on, making them experts in law, medicine and science.

    So, what can we expect from the upcoming year? Rooster-like traits will spill into everyone's life. We'll all likely find ourselves taking an extra peek in the mirror as we head out the door. More importantly, we can also expect great headway made in fields such as medicine and science.


    Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.


    I'm Evil!

    The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
    Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
    Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
    Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
    Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
    Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
    Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
    Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Moderate
    Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
    Level 7 (Violent)Very High
    Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
    Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

    Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

    Shake your monkeymakers

    Well for someone who thought they were going to have a quiet weekend it turned out to be quite large - met the girls for some delicious italian shiraz in Elwood, had some beachside refreshments and then off to the Lounge quite unexpectedly - two words - Diego Rocha!

    Stacc's had his shake the monkey party on Saturday night to celebrate the Rooster becoming the animal du jour. I haven't laughed so much in so long and I'm determined to now carry a dictaphone to catch the absurdity that always flows after 15 mins of cracker to the power of three.

    It is so wonderful to see the crackers but a bit sad that the group is a bit smaller than it was. I miss Barney and Malice, Meri, Dave and Lauren a lot and wish I got to see them more often.

    Had a lovely breakfast with Barclay yesterday and then off for a spot of window shopping in the city. It is his birthday in a week and it was a good chance to scope out what he might like.

    Annoying Customer - Murderball is a doco about disabled rugby players who mod up the wheelchairs Mad Max style and go hell for leather. I only saw the trailer but it looks so bloody funny.

    For those who want to know - Jazzy hands ( see link, too lazy to get fancy today) for the lowdown on those I WILL diet ads...

    the girls after a beachside refeshment

    Matty downstairs at Lounge friday night

    feed the man tea

    the ladies, the ladies

    Some of the beautiful people at grandpa staccy's "Shake the Monkey" party.

    I'm a male model not a male prostitute! Sweety looking golden on Saturday night.


    heard it here first - Murderball

    Just came from industry trade day and saw a trailer for the flick "MURDERBALL" - winner audience award Sundance 2005 - fucking funny "I can't wait to see the whole thing"

    This movie is going to make you die happy

    Sleeper's Publishing Book Launch

    The fine ladies at
  • Sleeper's Publishing
  • launched their first anthology last night assisted by Sean Condon of Good Weekend fame.

    It was fun. Caught up with a few writerly types that I am fond of.
    Quote of the evening
  • Adam Ford
  • is going to be huge - because he is already medium sized" - Zoe Dattner

    Miles Vertigan was good too but he speaks so fast and his mic needed to be turned up.

    Go out and buy the book you will feel much better for it!

  • Cracker
  • and I went out for pizza at Bimbo. I had seafood, he had zuchinni, shot the shit about various things and discovered that we will most probably be in the States at the same - yay!


    The Yarra River bursting it's banks after last night's deluge ( photo courtesy of The Age)

    A pier in Albert Park this morning - after last night's storm. ( Photo courtesy of the Age)

    one way to make me happy

    Got to work this morning feeling pretty perky for no particular reason.

    Went to my pigeonhole to clear the day's detritus and found this odd package, heavy, important looking and I thought " what is this?"
    I opened it to find a copy of Alain De Botton's "Status Anxiety" the book that accompanies the series that I enjoyed so much.

    My friend Barclay had bought it as a surprise for me and a few others of his nearest and dearest.

    See how easy it is to make me happy?

    Australia is currently experiencing some wild weather. It rained all night and it made me thankful for my beautiful warm bed and brand new featherdown doona. I'm going to have to take some decisive action if I'm to even get out of bed this winter.

    On a completely related matter, Outback Jack is over and my god I'm so upset that Maria didn't get to be the girl she was lovely. Sucks to that cow Marissa ha ha! Now I can resume my life as intellectual yes?

    Rufus Wainwright is playing tonight and I'm not going. A shame but I'm only a recent convert and will catch him next time - the Leonard Cohen tribute in Sydney would of been ace here's hoping it comes to Melbourne.


    A new photo of little Morris Fox in the bath.


    Since my friend Lauren won't be back in this country for a lot longer than I expected - I'm off to the US of A in September.

    I'm thinking NYC, San Fran and either Memphis, Austin or New Orleans perhaps Chicago?


    aviod at all costs

    Why Channel Nine need to reconsider their programming team

    Yeah well as if I was going to be anythng except resting my poor head after Sunday.

    I recoiled in horror as Larry Edmur, everyone's fave Australian version of the bionic man and that walking pair of tits Catrina Rowntree (is it my imagination but did she use to announce for JJJ's?) Introduced us to a great new show ( see franchise of UK or US terror) STARSTRUCK.

    Holy cow, it is so bad, the judges esp Outback Jack need to say a bit more than - "oh you sounded just like them"

    It reminds me of the bit in Live Forever where Jarvis "Marry me Ladycracker" Cocker was talking about how surreal it was to see people impersonating him on the UK version "Stars in the Their Eyes".
    Jarvis darling I have to agree, it is the very first circle of existentialist hell and another example of the general decline on good Monday night telly.

    Desperate Housewives looks like it might be ok though..