A Chinese Cracker

MLI, 6, 4 and myself caught the Millenium Dragon dance for the Year Of Dog celebrations in Chinatown today. The girls wore the dresses that I gave them for Christmas and they were the subject of many photographs by total strangers. MLI and I joked that it was a combination of my costume design and his staging abilities and bickered as to who as a bigger stage mother.

Right, anyway..

What can you say about Chinese New Year? I love it - the smell of firecrackers, the drums, the dragons, the acrobats, so I'm not going to wax on about the event as such. We had a nice day as we also do, the girls loved the dragon dance and felt very fancy in their dresses with paper umbrella and fan accessories and I would rate it as a successful family day out.

But people, much more serious matters are at hand I'm afraid.

Fashionistas of the World I need your help.

Can you tell me when snoods came back in? Do you know the last time I saw these was on the back of Fergie's head in about 1989 or so. So long ago that I can't find any pictorial evidence on the internerd dammit. Are they back in? are they? I really need to know you see. Why? BECAUSE MY ENTIRE WINTER WARDROBE WILL BE PINNED ON THIS OK!!!


I heart public art

If you aren't very busy in March perhaps you might like to wear a hedge on your head in the name of a beautiful world?

I will be.

Red Cabbage Collective are putting together a public maze at the Melbourne Museum on March 26th. Contributors put a piece of hedge on their head and form the maze, a beautiful thing don't you agree?

For more information click here

Thanks to Jon Bon Bailey from Art of the City for the heads up*.

*Ha ha - get it? Christ, I'm a comic genius, someone get me a manager.


Because Australia Doesn't Love Cricket Enough

Being a publicist, I don't really do much except read magazines and chat on the phone to editors before enjoying a lunch of lettuce leaves and coke and finishing the day with a pedicure and a bottle of champas.

So while I was wasting my morning finding out if Janae on Neighbours was going to be cleared of her blood disease, I came across this wonderful new issue from The Ashton Drake Galleries, who are no doubt the bastards who put Franklin Mint out of business. A shame really as I will never get to finish collecting my Princess Diana Memorial Plates at this rate.

Look at this little beauty - all yours for the low price of $265.00!!! Don't say I don't pass on the bargains when I see them people.


Well, why wouldn't I?

Dear readers, a warning. The next month of posts might be a little on the dry side.

I'm on the health kick you see.

This month I have had 22 smoke free days.

I'm up to day 2 of 31 days of booze free fun.

Hw do I feel? yeah I feel great.


Out of the Mouth of Babes #1

This is not turning into a mummy blog, I promise. However I couldn't resist this one.

The last two days in our house have been "all fans on deck" to try and cope with the disgusting heat. I'm glad we didn't see 4 and 6 until last night as it would have made for a very uncomfortable few days for them.

Last night after a protracted bed time ritual, 4 popped her head into the lounge and flaked out on the arm of the couch.

"Dad, something is not right"
"Really sweetie, what is wrong?"
"Well, I'm not cool and I don't mean that in the I look good sort of way."

!!! MLI and I proceeded to fall about in fits of laughter for about an hour after that one.

Happy birthday little treasure. You never fail to make me laugh.


Hear my battle cry!

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ladycracker!

  1. Ladycracker can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak.
  2. If you drop Ladycracker from the top of the Empire State Building, she will be falling fast enough to kill before reaching the ground.
  3. Grapes explode if you put them inside Ladycracker.
  4. Czar Paul I banished Ladycracker to Siberia for marching out of step.
  5. Ladycracker is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons!
  6. All swans in England belong to Ladycracker!
  7. The Vikings believed that the Northern lights were caused by Ladycracker as she rode out to collect warriors slain in battle!
  8. Ladycracker is the male seed of a flower blossom which has been gathered and treated by bees.
  9. 68 percent of all UFO sightings are by Ladycracker.
  10. Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in Ladycracker.
I am interested in - do tell me about

EDIT: I'm rude sometimes. I found this over at Help Me I'm Falling.


Antony and the Johnsons

I have never been to a concert with rabid fans before.

Last night I went to see Antony and the Johnsons at Hamer Hall, the last concert gig on their year long world tour. Unlike Arcade Fire, definitely my choice for best album I heard last year, I hadn't had Anthony's album on a high rotation. It is an album for those quieter moments, reflective and moody, and I don't have a lot of those these days.

So, I as I say, I'm not a rabid fan. The people I went with are. They had followed Anthony to Sydney and were distressed that they weren't able to get tickets to tonight's gig at Grand Central. That's a pretty decent stab at dedication, especially since I believe Aussies can be pretty cool about rampant adoration of anything other than sport. As a result of my friends' adoration I felt like a pretender who didn't deserve the red hot seat I secured.

The other grit in my oyster was a contact lens mishap. I've been given the wrong script and if anyone was looking at me they might have been rather put off by my intermittent blinking and winking. Either that or they might have taken it for a misguided pick up (did I mention that most of the audience was filled with gorgeous gay boys?).

Anyway, morse code eyes and feeling of adoration failure aside, the concert was magnificent with the highlights being the painfully exquisite "You are My Sister", a poignant and tear-inducing song, and Leonard Cohen's "The Guests".

CocoRosie were bloody fab too and have reignited my love for the Care Bears cartoons.
Check out both these artists if you haven't yet..


So ummm... tell me.....

What was the best wedding you ever went to? What made it great? No reason really...


The Lost Art Of Self Promotion

Hey y'all, Lindsay and I would just love it if you could head over here and place a li'l vote for yours truly in this year's Australian blog awards (Victorian and Personal catergories). I'll tell you now, there ain't no false modesty here. If you are lucky I might were this to the ceremony...

Get voting kids xx LC


The case of the mistaken identity

It's Monday, I'm busy, so I leave with you this puzzle....

did Zack from Saved by the Bell

grow up to be.......

Jake Gyllenhal?

Tomorrow - a post about things of beauty, waterslides, Cecil Beaton and meat pies.


Four for Gold Class please

Eggers and Jonze - a match made in heaven

Open up the inbox and my day has been made by the following news

A 'children’s film' with more promise is an adaptation of Where The Wild Things Are, based on the marvelous allegory by Maurice Sendak. The story of Max, who favours an hirsute wolf-fur jump suit, escaping from supper-less bedroom exile to an orgy of wild animals will be brought to life by Spike Jonze, based on a collaborative script by Jonze and novelist Dave Eggers (McSweeny’s honcho, and A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius scribe). While there have been snarky mumblings from grown-ups about Narnia blowing its universally beloved source material, Maurice Sendak is said to be smitten with Jonze’s take on the story.

Thanks to Filmink

The girls love this book and I'm sure that 4 in particular indentifies with Max, little wild thing that she is.


Rub for good luck

A kid so cute I could eat him. Happy Birthday little spunk.

Photo courtesy of Love is the New Hate



This week has been one of expensive champagne drinking proportions. MLI has scored a kick arse promotion and the trickle through effect means I get a new car!

So last night I was having a look around on the internerd for a new car and got lost in the weirdness per usual. Lucky me came across this post and I tell you it got the imagination firing...




It is very good to swallow; Some of the positives are-
1. It makes you very horny
2. It makes your breasts larger
3. It is very good for your skin. It has some hormones which prevent you from ageing
4. It tastes like juice from heaven
5. Your man will love you forever and treat you like a princess

What on earth could this person be talking about? Could it be this?

Or this?

what I really want to know... Do I have to push it though this to get a result?

Come on people, join in! Most original answer gets a souvenir from my soon to be gone car!



For those of you who might be interested....


Because life just isn't aggro enough sometimes

click Here
(thanks Loz)


Resolve vs Revolt

I know we are almost a week into the new year, but I have been so busy taking vitamins, running around the park, doing push ups and ingesting Phyto-Soy-Mega-Power-Booster Shakes, making "peace" with myself and sending floral tributes to the Packer family* to take the time to let all my dear readers know about all the little things I plan to do to become a world beating superwoman.

In short, I plan to do these things, hardly world exploding stuff..

1. Buy a better red lipstick.
2. Learn to play poker like a demon.
3. Enrol in that Indian Head massage course.
4. Buy that costume, never you mind what perves.
5. Learn a language, something sexy like Italian or Spanish.
6. Enrol for those dance classes and tango like a pro.
7. Buy more music, see more bands.
8. Buy that Kozyndan giclee print I have had my eye on.
9. Become a more active political animal.
10. Remember to feed the fish.

Of course I have some very private, soul searching desires that I must follow through on this year but you do not need to know too much about those. All I may say is that I see the potential for 2006 to include; a celebration of love, a broadening of mental horizons and, if it all goes well, the road to my true vocation clear and true.

If the Village Voice is anything to go by, it all might work out for me - this is what they have to say..

CANCER (June 21–July 22): There's no delicate way to say this, so please stop reading and come back next week if you're offended by graphic references to pleasure. According to my analysis of the long-term astrological omens, you're on tap to experience more orgasms in 2006 than you have in any previous year. On average, your climaxes are also likely to be longer and more intense. Other varieties of bliss, rapture, and joy will probably occur at record levels as well. Think you can handle it?


* bald faced lie


What a disappointment

I hope this year gets better.
Apart from not receiving a formal invitation to this yet..

Channel Nine neglected to display my message to the world using the only possible rival to the infamous worm, the New Years Eve text message ticker. My message read as follows..

"Dear John Howard, Happy New Year. May you turn over a new leaf. Much love Ladycracker."

So onward we go into 2006. I'm not quite back yet but I'm cetainly warming up to it. For all you out there, I hope you are kicking off with a bang.