I predict a riot
The current predisposition of the Neighbours people to bring back old cast members, whether it be via some serious name dropping or turning up as the ghost of the dead daughter - ala Kerry/whatshername, who cares she's gone anyway, is making me think; how are they doing this? What are they offering those old cast members to make them come back to coalface? Visions of washed actors being followed around by the secret spies and offered large amounts of nightclub appearances and TV week promo days to take part in the "celebrations" fill my head. It makes me feel a bit icky actually.
Now some background on Joe Mangel.
Joe married Kerry, Harold's daughter is Sky's stepdad and after Kerry's tragic death he married the honking duckfaced Melanie Pearson. Anyway, Joe is back from the country where he has been a drover or something for god knows how long .
I predict a romance between him and Janelle Timmons.
Spigging and frigging!
Since this trend looks set to continue here are my picks for faces that need to come back to Ramsay St.
Needs a job after getting ousted from managing Holly Valance, don't you think?
Had the pleasure of marrying Natalie Imbruglia's character Beth. Is needed because the show lacks some serious skeg action and the writers need to balance out the bogan element, show it's "multicultural" side. Right.
Prediction: Would return as a male stripper, perform at the Scarlet Bar and fall in love with Sindi, causing a serious peroxide shortage reaching as far as Anson's Corner.
Prediction: The House of Trouser needs a referee for all those homo erotic wrestling matches. Enter Clive Gibbons the man with the gift of the gab. Clive gets it on with Lyn Scully and they leave Erinsborough after a heated three man wrestling match between Toadie, Connor and Stuart that goes terribly terribly wrong.
Prediction: Plain Jane Super Brain makes her triumphant return as a school teacher at Erinsborough High, the Timmons boys both fall in love with her until she declares her lesbianism and turns Sky for good.
Prediction: Comes back to save Joe from the clutches of Janelle. Janelle gives in after a scrag fight at the Corner store - refereed by Clive.
Sky has had enough of this, packs her hair extensions and leaves with Plain Jane Super Brain for a better life in Darwin or maybe Queensland.
Prediction: Comes back from the dead giving poor Harold a heart attack once a for all.
So if any of my predictions come true I'm going to give up my life of luxury and get a job writing for Neighbours pronto. Then maybe I can wangle the return of all the dead Neighbours characters in a heartfelt dream sequence in which Paul Robinson realises that he should have stayed in the panto.
I'd like to see that.
As an afterthought - has anyone made one of those scary porn fan fics for Neighbours?