I predict a riot

Good News - Joe Mangel is going to be rejoining the cast of Neighbours. The 20th anniversary celebrations keep getting hotter and hotter I tell you.

The current predisposition of the Neighbours people to bring back old cast members, whether it be via some serious name dropping or turning up as the ghost of the dead daughter - ala Kerry/whatshername, who cares she's gone anyway, is making me think; how are they doing this? What are they offering those old cast members to make them come back to coalface? Visions of washed actors being followed around by the secret spies and offered large amounts of nightclub appearances and TV week promo days to take part in the "celebrations" fill my head. It makes me feel a bit icky actually.


Now some background on Joe Mangel.
Joe married Kerry, Harold's daughter is Sky's stepdad and after Kerry's tragic death he married the honking duckfaced Melanie Pearson. Anyway, Joe is back from the country where he has been a drover or something for god knows how long .

I predict a romance between him and Janelle Timmons.

Spigging and frigging!

Since this trend looks set to continue here are my picks for faces that need to come back to Ramsay St.

Brad Willis
Needs a job after getting ousted from managing Holly Valance, don't you think?
Had the pleasure of marrying Natalie Imbruglia's character Beth. Is needed because the show lacks some serious skeg action and the writers need to balance out the bogan element, show it's "multicultural" side. Right.
Prediction: Would return as a male stripper, perform at the Scarlet Bar and fall in love with Sindi, causing a serious peroxide shortage reaching as far as Anson's Corner.

Clive Gibbons
Prediction: The House of Trouser needs a referee for all those homo erotic wrestling matches. Enter Clive Gibbons the man with the gift of the gab. Clive gets it on with Lyn Scully and they leave Erinsborough after a heated three man wrestling match between Toadie, Connor and Stuart that goes terribly terribly wrong.

Jane Harris
Prediction: Plain Jane Super Brain makes her triumphant return as a school teacher at Erinsborough High, the Timmons boys both fall in love with her until she declares her lesbianism and turns Sky for good.

Melanie Mangel
Prediction: Comes back to save Joe from the clutches of Janelle. Janelle gives in after a scrag fight at the Corner store - refereed by Clive.
Sky has had enough of this, packs her hair extensions and leaves with Plain Jane Super Brain for a better life in Darwin or maybe Queensland.

Prediction: Comes back from the dead giving poor Harold a heart attack once a for all.

So if any of my predictions come true I'm going to give up my life of luxury and get a job writing for Neighbours pronto. Then maybe I can wangle the return of all the dead Neighbours characters in a heartfelt dream sequence in which Paul Robinson realises that he should have stayed in the panto.

I'd like to see that.

As an afterthought - has anyone made one of those scary porn fan fics for Neighbours?


the world's 50 best restaurants

Just in case anyone wants to eat like, really, really well tonight.

The 50 Best Restaurants in the World are chosen by leading restaurant professionals, and the 2005 list is:

The Fat Duck – Penfolds Best Restaurant in the World and Penfolds Best Restaurant in Europe, Bray, Berks, England.
El Bulli – Chef's Choice, Montjoi, Spain.
The French Laundry – Best in America, Yountville, California, USA.
Tetsuya's – Best in Australasia, Sydney, Australia.
Gordon Ramsay, London, England.
Pierre Gagnaire, Paris, France.
Per Se – Highest New Entry, New York, USA.
Tom Aikens, London, England.
Jean Gorges, New York, USA.
St John, London, England.
Michel Bras, Laguiole, France.
Le Louis XV, Monte Carlo, Monaco.
Chez Panisse – Highest Climber, Berkeley, California, USA.
Charlie Trotter, Chicago, USA.
Gramercy Tavern, New York, USA.
Guy Savoy, Paris, France.
Restaurant Alain Ducasse, Paris, France.
The Gallery at Sketch, London, England.
The Waterside Inn, Bray, Berks, England.
Nobu, London, England.
Restaurante Arzak, San Sebastian, Spain.
El Raco de Can Fabes, San Celoni, Spain.
Checcino dal 1887, Rome, Italy.
Le Meurice, Paris, France.
L'Hotel de Ville, Crissier, Switzerland.
L'Arpege, Paris, France.
Angela Hartnett at The Connaught, London, England.
Le Manoir Aux Quat' Saisons, London, England.
Le Cinq, Paris, France.
Hakkasan, London, England.
Cal Pep – Outstanding Value, Barcelona, Spain.
Masa, New York, USA.
Flower Drum, Melbourne, Australia.
WD50, New York, USA.
Le Quartier Francais – Penfolds Best in Middle East & Africa, Franschhoek, South Africa.
Spice Market, New York, USA.
Auberge de l'Il, Illhaeusern-Alsace, France.
Manresa, California, USA.
Restaurant Dieter Muller, Bergisch Gladbach, Germany.
La Maison Troisgros, Roanne, France.
The Wolseley, London, England.
Rockpool, Sydney, Australia.
Yauatcha, London, England.
The Ivy, London, England.
Gambero Rosso, San Vincenzo, Italy.
The Cliff, St James, Barbados.
Le Gavroche, London, England.
Enoteca Pinchiorri - Editor's Choice, Florence, Italy.
Felix - Penfolds Best in Asia, The Peninsula, Hong Kong.
La Tupina, Bordeaux, France.

Suck it Jacques Reymond

Successful, that's me

So got a call from the NLI last night letting me know that I had two hits on the board re: kids. The littlest one who was a bit shy with me on Monday quite out of the blue stated" I like ....., I was just feeling shy on Monday".

Hooray! I thought that she hated me on sight and it made me feel very nervous, but my natural charm, beauty, shining light of goodness etc etc etc obviously came through for me in the end.

I have a department meeting today and as such have made a real effort with the wardrobe, hoping that by looking at my legs they might forget that I doesn't look like I have done any work at all for a month.

Yep Feminism. My middle name.

So, in tribute to work over the next few posts I will provide a photo that will show one part of my desk. So here goes. Inspiration come in many forms and this time it comes from here

listening to Queen Andreena/The Butcher and the Butterfly

Damn camera phones, the sooner I get my new one the better...... This little image sits on left hand corner of my monitor, and reminds me that when wankers are on the phone giving me the worst kind of grief I can just look at this and smile.



Someone looked up "Depression Fear" on yahoo and this site comes up in first spot?

Weird. I don't think much depression has being going on around these parts.

anzac's r us

Well a very very quiet long weekend for me I'm afraid due to no car, lost house keys and a blocked mobile for some ungodly reason (yes I do pay my freakin bills)

I guess I'm saving up my debauchery points, I think that I'm going to need them oh so soon......

NLI added Led Zepplin Three to my CD collection since I only have a copy on vinyl and no rekkid player at the moment. How exciting! I can relive black condoms and the carpet in the rumpus room at my parents house again and again.

Hung out with the NLI yesterday and finally got to meet his two gorgeous little girls. The eldest one took to me very quickly and was dragging me around Melbourne Museum by the hand asking me to read information about the animals and stuff out to her, lots of fun and the feedback? (insolicited) - "I like ..... she is a nice lady." Phew! one obstacle down then.

NLI and I saw Three Dollars last night and I have to say I'm yet again disappointed by film.
1. I think it is a reflection of the small amount of films that we are making that the script was so crammed with themes. Had they discarded the homelessness subtheme and concentrated instead on the daily reality of a family trying to survive, it would have made for a more potent film. Instead this ridiculous idea that David Wenham would be rooting around in a bin, in the city, possibly being seen by his colleagues is too far fetched for me.

Does this happen because a writer feels that they need to cover as many facets as possible to reach the largest number of funding body criteria?

2. Who looks at the scripts? is the theme of man in crisis living amongst the rejected similar to that of Tom White? We don't make enough films to have such similar stories.

Right, film rant over.


Saturday was spent with the ladies who lunch at Southbank, catching up on the "goss" and then off to the Bill Henson exibition at NGV Ian Potter. I also managed to catch what was happening at the Screen Gallery at ACMI but can't remember that name of the exibition and frankly to bloody lazy today to look it up. I'll make a note that my favourite piece was "Tide".

Then NLI came over and we had a mindblowingly good time. Mmm .. the man sure is freaking hot.




I feel dreadful today due to a night out with the work crew at dinner and then on Northcote Social Club for Tim Rogers gig.

Don't not feed the "tired and emotional" girl white wine! Just don't!

And today we went go - kart racing - I came last the whole time - so officially a nanna driver. I think the little boys who staffed the joint were laughing at me. Bastards.


My Night



Yammer Requester


Yammer Rancour has asked what I would put on the definitive sex album. This is not so much of a shagging album more of a " I'm not around, think about me while listening to this tape and remember that time on the kitchen table etc etc etc"

I love a list as much as the next person so here is a very quick coffee break top ten. this of course isn't the order that they would appear on the tape because...

"The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules." - Rob High Fidelity (2000)

1. Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin
2. Life on Mars -David Bowie
3. Cannonball - The Breeders
4. Stagger Lee - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
5. Piano Trios - Schubert
6. Bang Bang - Nancy Sinatra
7. She Came in through the Bathroom Window - Joe Cocker
8. This is Hardcore - Pulp
9. Thursday - Morphine
10. Vamos - The Pixies

N.B - this list can change at any time. I'm already regretting it.

Currently listening to David Bowie/Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars


I'm also good at headjobs

The NLI goes from strength to strength I tell you.
Here is a list of the lovely thoughtful things he has given to me recently.

1. White Roses
- on Good Friday after a particularly good sex session

2. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Bsides and Rarities
- presented the day we made it "official"

3. Bob Dylan Blood on the Tracks/Highway 61
- purchased after we discussed albums that made me cry.

4. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexander Dumas
- after a discussion about books last week.

5. Lace top stay up fishnet stockings with seams
- cue stoner rock soundtrack and a tab 'o' acid - you are in for a ride.

6. 2 dozen roses - delivered
- I received them at work yesterday, they were waiting for me in the foyer when I got back from lunch. Cue looks of wild jealousy from girlies at work and bumping into wall blissness from me

6. The Beatles - The White Album
- from same conversation about top 30 albums and albums that make me cry.

so I am planning the following "gifts" for the man who deserves it.

1. Bliss - Peter Carey
- My favourite book.

2. One night of wild sexual abandon with me at the Adelphi.

3. A bottle of Dom Perignon

4. An official scrabble dictionary

5. Fu Manchu tour poster

6. Mix tape of sex songs

7. A Japanese massage - performed by moi

any other suggestions of good presents I can get him?


Dinner and a show baby

Finally saw NLI after a few days separation. We went to the Nova and saw Maria Full Of Grace which I gave a 6 - 7. It was very hard to concentrate on the film though as I was most interested in other things. (Filthy minded readers, it is all true)
Before the film we had a spot of dinner down the road and Cracker rolled past and said hello.

While strolling down the street the NLI and I were discussing books. particularly The Count of Monte Cristo. I confessed that I had only read the abridged version. I went upstairs to get the choctops (vanilla for him, cherry ripe for me) and when I was finished NLI came back with copy of Cristo for me. How lovely is that?

Plans are shaping up for the Nick Cave gig - I think I'm going to splash out for room somewhere nice and make a night of it.
goddamn it - you are going taresque on my man cockle!

Taresque and Man Cockle

Went to the Terminus with Tazo and Sweety on Tuesday night for the ever filling $5 dollar steak night mmm. potatoes.

Much drinking and carry on ensued with all parties having a thoroughly enjoyable time.

In fact due to the silliness of the event two new words have now entered that language we call English
Taresque and
  • Man Cockle

  • Naturally these terms have been dicussed with the NLI and no, they won't be valid in Scrabble.

    One of the world's sexist dishes, Ginger Mud Crab mmmmm......
    eaten by the one of the world's sexiest women. D.
    I went into this pub immediately and had a drink, they deserved it. You can't beat quality Lebowski film quoting for raising a thirst.
    You too can order the "My marriage is a pile of shit" for your next nuptials. Why start lying now?


    How will I ever clear my credit card?

    … Bloc Party, Interpol, Queens Of The Stone Age,
    and Moby have all been confirmed to play the annual Splendour
    In The Grass festival, which takes place at the Belongil Fields in
    Byron Bay on the New South Wales north coast on July 23-24.
    Also appearing are Shihad and Sarah Blasko, along with more
    still to be announced in the next few weeks.

    So is going to be a heap of Melbourne shows or three days in Sunny Byron?
    Disovered on the internet yesterday - promo pics from Ricky Gervais' ( The Office) teen band Seona Dancing. Too fucking funny


    Very boring night with lots of work rubbish to attend to at the last minute whcih meant that I was not able to attend Rockwiz with the very excellent Everbatim.
    Did go and catch up with Barclay before his big trip north with Biatch and saw the best pair of shoes on EBAY that I will be buying as soon as possible.

    Nothing else of note to report - the NLI has been away on a holiday and I didn't see him this weekend. That combined with the appalling result Carlton dished up on the weekend and my hangover from being a PR goddess on Thursday, Friday made for a very grumpy ladycracker, indeed.

    I have discovered a new pleasure in my grumpiness though, On Saturday night I got through a stack of Mojo's and Q's from work and for each major restrospective article I put on my favourite CD by that artist, band, label.

    Much fun.

    I got Beck's new album this morning hmmm.... I'm not sure yet, will have to give it another couple of listens. I think Mutations is his best effort and Sea Change was a beautiful album also.


    the perks

    No time to post today ... Off to Brisabne for the Wrestling yet again. Lucky me, I get to ride in a limo. OOOOOHHHHHHHHH.


    HE IS COMING!!!!


    Roll on May 19th! I cannot wait SO excited drool drool drool, imagining what tshirt I am going to buy now.
    Rang NLI immediately to decide what night and seating arrangements we were going to go for - just as he was about to call me to ask the same.

    I tell you I'm having the best time at the moment, I know it is all new but it feels different I'm not apprehensive or worried about anything or second guesssing motives etc. Keep it simple.

    He is the most generous, funny and thoughtful person I have met in a long time. I'm blown away. I might get fired soon for running around smiling like a fool and running into walls.

    If you don't live your own myth then who will?


    What a wasteful few hours while glean

    Notice the two photos below?

    I found the top one quite by accident on Hot or Not the other day.
    Quite a similarity yes?

    I have nothing even remotely smartarsey to say about this. It's been a quiet day.
    Don't you think this fella....
    looks a lot like this? Do you think Kane is on Hot or Not?


    Jesus would you look at this? In fact this little beauty is made of ANIMAL PLACENTA and retails in Priceline for a sweet sum of $3.99


    Ladies, Gents turn around now if you are sickened by intense amounts of happiness.

    I officially have a boyfriend. Hilarious. I know.

    The chat has been had, the deal has been set, the gifts have been exchanged.

    Me to him: Bottle of Domaine Chandon Vintage and the most masculine lip balm I could find.
    Him to Me: Nick Cave Bsides and Rarities triple disc set that I just happened to be drooling over earlier that day in a completely unrelated incident.

    The cup runneth over.

    In other news god bless Popbitch

    WankStarFilms have filmed the first male cum shot
    using 'time slice' technology - the 360 degree slow
    motion technique used in The Matrix.

    I so have to see that.

    While on the subject of porn - apparently my doppleganger is alive and well and features in the well regarded porn "Facial Collections"
    I can be thankful that I don't star in "Pop Shots" or maybe not.