CLUMSY IS AS CLUMSY DOES

Oh dear.

In the last few days my life has turned all I Love Lucy with all manner of clumsy kooky Ladycracker moments just begging to filmed and played with laugh track.

For instance.

On Sunday I had the MLI's little girls for a few hours and we decided that we were going to make cards for loved ones. I went to the shop and bought cardboard, textas, glitter, glue, butterfly stickers, little stars - everything a little girl needs really.

But...

Before I go any further.

I must say that on Friday night I spilled an entire glass of red wine on MLI's brand new carpet causing much connipting and salt shaking and handee ultra wipes before we could get that mess to manageable size.
Naturally MLI was not all that pleased that I had done this but got over his grumpiness after a certain while and after my breathy promises of naughtiness involving carpet cleaner, vacuums and John Spencer Blues Explosion.

So back to the card making.

The girls and I are happily making a right old mess on the brand new white table that MLI has in the kitchen. Ever mindful of the damaging effects of glues and glitter I had covered the table in newspaper.

After we had successfully completed a number of beautiful designs and had laid the cards out to dry I was in the process of clearing up.

I removed the newspaper from the table.

And

My blood ran cold.

APPARENTLY the combination of glue, newspaper and white does not mix. The table had newspaper printed onto it in two very large areas.

Don't panic Ladycracker I say to myself and set to scrubbing the table, lifting the paint in the process.
I almost fainted - and then MLI's Dad arrived. Frantically I try covering up the damaged parts of the table with sponges and bottles and stuff praying that he wouldn't notice it.

Eventually he left taking the girls with him.

And this is when the "sacrifices we make for love" comes in. I knew where MLI kept his receipts from the furniture blitz so I found them, got the style number rang the store, saw they had it in stock and then raced out the purchase EXACTLY THE SAME TABLE, came back, built it, took the old table apart, put it in my car and it is now hidden at my house.

My flattie thinks I have totally overrreacted.

Maybe I have but after the red wine debacle, the Johnny Cash collectors edition accident from a while ago, numerous stacks, scrapes and foot in mouth moments I decided that it would be a nice thing to do rather than present him with my latest "whoopsie". I just couldn't bear the shame.

LIFE LESSON LEARNT : Buy a plastic table covering for craft projects with three year olds.

And as for this morning's potentially disastrous contact lens mixup? Well that is for another day.